Well, just wanting to say hi to all you lovely people :] <3
What's new with me:
-school (more math, chemistry with a lab and art history this semester, all of which take up a considerate amount of my free time via studying, which sadly means less time for art making and hanging out and fun stuff :[ )
-upcoming birthday (yes, I still have over a month but I look forward to birthdays!)
and modeling!
Yes, nude modeling.
I've always had an interest in the modeling side to figure drawing (and even just photography). I guess in a narcissistic way, I imagined what it'd be like to be in that role - the art model. How might being a model change my self image? Would I learn to be more accepting of my body? Would I appreciate the art form more or the efforts of the model more? I was intrigued by seeing what other people might see in me, how I looked from a third perspective in a drawing or a photograph, and wanting to learn how I could use my body to express more emotion or to help someone with a vision in mind bring it to the physical state (like a drawing or print). And whatever else might turn up
I've previously modeled for a few friends before - well, two: Spencer and Julie. I did a photoshoot with Spencer and his friend Max in August (I think) and that was when I began thinking more seriously about modeling. I joined a site for models and have started setting up shoots with people. I'm actually scheduled for my first (paid!) figure drawing modeling gig this Saturday (!!). I'll have to let you all know how that goes.
I started working with two random photographers I don't know. I was nervous at first, yes. I was paid for one shoot but not the other. (Because I'm still new, I feel that I don't need to charge as I'm primarily seeking experience, not pay. Eventually, I may set up rates.) Those two photo shoots were very different experiences. I won't go into details, but one was much more professional than the other, and they both helped me begin to form my own preferences to how I feel the artist/model should interact. For example, I don't feel comfortable with physical contact unless I KNOW the person well. If I need to adjust my pose, then I feel the artist should verbally describe to me how they wish for me to adjust or be able to demonstrate with their body. I also am not comfortable with personal comments about my physique; I don't think the artist should tell me they think I have great breasts or think I'm beautiful....it's just awkward. Unless I know the person well (that is, a friend or significant other). I also learned what questions not to ask about how I'm posing, and the main differences between a glamor modeling and artistic modeling. More often for a glamor style shoot you will be looking directly at the camera. In an artistic nude shoot, you look straight ahead of you, often away from the camera. Your eyes follow your nose; there shouldn't be any of the head-tilted-down-eyes-looking-up kind of thing.
Anyway.
I've also learned how physically demanding modeling can be. Which makes me nervous about Saturday. Not only are modeling sessions usually over an hour long (I've done sessions up to five hours long o__o) but holding poses and moving through poses can be challenging. And it's more difficult to think up creative poses to do than I originally thought. My mind sometimes draws a blank, and I try not to have a lot of repetition in poses. My back gets pinched, my sides might hurt, or I find a new bruise after kneeling for a while. But it's worth it because of the resulting images. And I think it'll get easier too :]
It's fascinating to me to see myself from another perspective. When I look at a photo of myself, I am always first a bit surprised at what I see. Yes, it's me, but somehow, it isn't. I am not sure how to explain it. There's a sense of displacement. I see myself as a human form trying to communicate a mood, or just an interesting display of form, light and shadow. Then I go into the self-aware analytical mind, where I think about how I look, whether or not I achieved what I wanted in my pose, etc. So far, I've only been more fascinated by my body (again, I feel narcissistic saying this) and wanting to continue onward. It's also interesting to see how the photographer works with me to achieve their vision. For example, Spencer never really wanted my face to show in our shoots. Doug wanted me to smile at the camera. Matt just let me do what I wanted, with a few adjustments. Max was interested in the deadpan-look thing, and I actually modeled with Spencer a bit for that shoot as well.
I told my family, and they seemed a bit worried (understandable) but they seem supportive enough. I have decided that I will not show incriminating nude photos to anyone I know, unless they ask to see them. I just don't want them to get circulated. I do believe Spencer has some nudes of me on his site, but I don't see a point in asking him to take them down, as he'd have to take the whole project down and I guess ultimately I don't mind if people know what I look like naked. (There are some people I definitely don't want to see me naked though...)
Anyway, this is all to say that I'm enjoying this experience :]
But wishing I could be doing other things too!
Haha, on that note, I hope you all are doing well. I <3 you all.
Here's a new favorite song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFAQa3HlYYw
